Breaking news: Decline in marine life possibly due to all the s**t in the sea, say experts

The UK’s online newspaper, the Daily Mash, reports the worrying finding that the decline in marine life may in some way be connected to all the shit, piss and bleach pumped in there every single day by everyone in the world.

Dr Susan Traherne told the Daily Mash:

 “As yet, there is no definite causal link between the mass death of fish and the unrelenting Niagara of shit. It does seem like a strange coincidence but I’m not about to stake my academic reputation on it.”

Read more here.

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